HELLO TITTIE
In grade 4, I was fit for my first "training" bra. I remember thinking, "apparently tits aren't very skilled at hanging on if they require training. this is serious stuff. What would happen if I didn't oblige to strap them down, hoist them up and decorate them with bows and lace? Would they disfigure? Could others tell? And why did I need to go through such efforts to make a pretty display if them anyway?" I didn't put bows on my knees. Although I guess I did put pom-poms on my ankles. Anyway, these strange, confusing thoughts plagued me for months.
Fast forward 100's of bras. Strapless, seamless, corset, criss-cross, convertible, padded, push up, nude, adhesive, demi, racer-back, sports and cup-less (oo la la). A secret underworld rarly noticed by anyone but me. I've spent countless hours posing in front of change rooms mirrors thinking; "does this make me too perky? too pointy? full enough?" Or, "impressive, I have a cleavage!" Most often though, "drat! why doesn't anything fit!?"
Last week, for the first time I went for a professional bra fitting. Secrets From Your Sister is an exclusive boutique in the Annex that specializes in fittings. The staff is lovely and very knowledgeable. After some initial measurement and discussion, in came the 55 minute parade of bras eager to prove themselves as my perfect match. "Girls, meet bra #1, she's a red lace underwire demi cup with daisy stitching and silk inserts who promises not to pinch or cause double boob. She's made in Paris, ooh."
While I didn't buy anything (prices ranged $124-$189), I picked up some valuable tips and most importantly, learned that I had been sizing myself incorrectly for the last 25 years! My mistake had been thinking that cup ( A B C D...) and torso size (32" 34" 36" 38"...) were unrelated and that size is static. Apparently this is not the case at all. Measurement is relative and every bra has a "sister" size. As cup goes up, torso goes down. So...B34 = C32 = D30. You got it? Essentially this means, that for every new style a new size should be considered. Otherwise, it's likely fitting improperly. What a wonderful excuse for all those awful bras I’ve abandoned!
Here are some bits and bobs to ponder.
The Guinness Book of World records credits 53 year old Norma Stitz for having the largest natural breasts on the planet. 56 pounds each!Maxi Mounds, a model, stripper and porn star (no surprise) is noted for having the largest implants. 42JJ. I'm guessin the size scale doesn't apply here..
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LET'S BOGEY !!
I've had an unusual crush on Bill Murray for a long time. Somewhere between Groundhog Day, What About Bob and Lost In Translation, I decided that he was the funniest, most endearing man in film. And, in some odd way - super sexy. Recently, I saw Caddyshack on t.v and decided that I was going to learn how to play golf. There were many other factors of cooooourse, but this first is for Bill ;)
Keeping things simple, I started out with a 9 hole, par 3 course. I've done the mini-put and driving range thing several times, so no big deal right? Oh so wrong. I discovered that golf requires much more intensity, focus and technical accuracy than I'd ever imagined. After losing 4 balls, tripping through 2 sand pits and cheating on several accounts, I still only mastered an average of 6 strokes each hole. (or however you term it).
However, I will golf again Bill. I will not let you down.
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HARD WOOD
Ever have those days where you wake up and think, "how can I bring purpose to my day"? It's a bit crazy, but I often find myself in that frame of mind. I love projects I guess.
This is a pictorial entry. Last week, I made a bench (from scratch) for the first time.
