Gunslinger

Not going to lie, when my shooting partner and I arrived at the Silverdale Gun Club a few weeks ago to shoot 4 different guns for the first time, I was unexpectedly terrified. Already able to hear the shower of shots going off as we drove down the Niagara region back roads, the reality of how vulnerable I was sunk straight to my gut. It didn’t help that as we pulled up to the muddy lot we saw an old guy fly up, out and flat on his back from the kick-back of a shotgun. Jeepers. Why had I wanted to do this again?

As a kid at the CNE or annual Brantford Carnie, the game where you blew up a balloon or sent the ‘whatever’ to the top of the pole by shooting a water gun was my immediate go-to. Unlike the frantic tossing, squashing or ball rolling games, I liked that shooting was silent, steady, focused. Anyway, after we got set up and our incredible guide eased my fears with his endless knowledge, I was ready to light up some lead!

We started with a 10/22 semi-auto rifle which shot off 10 smooth rounds really quickly. This was my favorite gun of the day. Secondly, we shot a M1911, single action, semi-auto handgun designed by John Moses Browning. This model was used in WW1, WW11, the Korean and Vietnam wars. It kicked! There was another, lighter tempered handgun, a 9mm Lugar and finally the 22, semi-automatic, pump action shot gun that brought Duck Hunt to life! I didn’t manage to knock out a skeet, but by this time I was just so fired up that anything was a treat.

We ended the day with an appropriately gourmet meal at Swiss Chalet. We were sun soaked,
burnt out and blissful. Call me wimpy, but it really felt like I’d discovered some serious courage which is never a bad thing (unless you’re a psychotic egomaniac living in the US with access guns at your local Wal-mart!) While I’m now relatively fearless of shooting, I’ll reserve my killer skills for water guns and fuzzy prizes.

Turkey for Two

Turkey is absolutely wonderful. It gathers people together, marks celebration and kicks ass in the left-over department; enjoyed in so many ways. I’ll spare you the Bubba list. Better yet, turkey is by far the oddest looking meat and fully entertaining to play with while preparing. The wish bone adds a bit of magic as well.

For me, cooking a turkey has always represented a passage to some unspoken state of adulthood. When the honour of hosting turkey dinner was handed to Mom from my Grandmother, it was like the generations had officially rolled over. I’ve always wondered, with mild concern, when that would happen to me. I’ve got skills, but most do not relate to the kitchen.

Since my step-father passed a few weeks after Christmas 6 years ago, my Mom has not cooked a proper turkey. We now sit down to a pre-stuffed turkey loaf from M&M’s which I actually think is glorious in a coupon clipping, you-have-to-love-and-laugh-at-spam kind of way. For whatever reason, when developing my list of Firsts, I decided it was time for generations to roll and that true turkey be brought back to my family.

This past Christmas, we had Chinese take-out at my Grandma’s old-age home (long, funny story), so I didn’t get the chance to host turkey. Breaking the rule of ham, I finally received my “I’m All Gown-Up” badge today by cooking an Easter turkey. After an eventful trip to St. Lawrence Market, in my wee bachelor apartment drinking Sangria and Sapporo, my Mom cheered me on as I went through the motions of preparing my first turkey. It was the greatest day and the best damn turkey I’ve had in years!

My Mom won the wish bone pull, and although the superstition wasn’t really mine to participate in, I’m pretty sure we both wished for the same thing.