Salsa Off the Scoville

Who doesn’t like to shake a tail on the dance floor, right?! Boppin, groovin, tappin n’ clappin - all good things. While I’m all about the group dance hall thing, I’ve always been curious about the mechanics of synchronized dancing as a pair. Communicating with your body to move in unison while remembering all the steps, (eek!) is seriously complex (in my mind). Add to that, the fact that I am leaps and bounds from having any notable rhythm or sexuality in my stride. Nonetheless, I decided I wanted to master Salsa.

I met a friend at Lulu Lounge on Dundas to take part, for the Firtst time, in their early evening lesson. The idea was that there would be many “available” men to introduce me to the dance floor (and their hips). Here’s a breakdown of the night.

8pm - No Latin Lovers. No problem, I was fine learning the steps in a line with the other solos.

9pm - I’m ready. I stand on the rim of the floor. No takers.

9:15 - Impatience sets in. Somebody take and shake this body!

9:20 - Panic. Hands on hips, hair flip, licking lips, sultry glances....what’s a girl gotta do?!   

9:25 - Desperation. I will Salsa tonight - even if with my girl friend! And, so we do.  Thanks Jen! xo

9:40 - Confidence on the rise. The girl on girl thing may have attracted some attention ;)

9:42 - Salsa! I find an older, experienced (shorter and sweatier. no biggie) man who is more than happy to make me look good on the dance floor. I laugh more than I twirl, but finally learn that Salsa is about following the man’s lead. Perhaps this is my glitch...

10pm - I pull the guy (who I really want to be dancing with) to the floor, ditch the rules of Salsa and we get ridiculous. My kind of fun!  xxx

Whore-A-Scope

I confess. I dig my daily horoscope. I don’t study the zodiac (much), but find the idea of astrology pretty intriguing. The way I see it, the sun, moon and planets obviously have a kinky relationship with Earth who is fully getting it on with humanity. So, if we’re all in bed together, as Sun journeys around the earth every 12 months and hits the right position (ya ya, ohh right there) it doesn’t seem that absurd for things to feel a little frisky now and then. Like on a full-moon night.
This affect, first suggested by Carl Jung by the way, is said to influence our behaviours (not occurrences or doings - huge difference) based on where and when the Sun penetrates Earth. I dunno - the fact that we’re even alive and will likely never understand why is pretty out there, so why not subscribe to a little magic under the mattress.
That said, I do read my horoscope with a slight snicker. Instead of investing in the message though, all too corny, vague and applicable to anyone, I pay attention to my reaction to it. Whatever thoughts or feelings rise in response to my horoscope I trust as something I likely need to put some work into. Like today “A huge heated battle between Uranus and Pluto is causing you to feel trapped in a hopeless situation”… I have a few minor conflicts going on at the moment (as we all do), so I’ve taken this as a reminder to contemplate these particular things more. Anyway, that’s how I do. And, thanks to Phil Booth, I indulge in this affair every morning after receiving his daily email update. A while ago, I met Phil in person to have my First astrology reading.
I entered his dim room late in the afternoon. His mystical eyes lowered me to sit closely to him.  Without hesitation he began to undo my mind. He knew what I came for. He circled my story with hunger as each new secret drove itself gently inside me. His words were teasing and made me plead for more.  In what seemed like only minutes, he whispered that my time was up and that he accepted Cash or Visa. I sighed and thanked him meekly as I left, realizing I’d just been seduced and conquered by a master of the stars. I looked up to the sky as Sun, Earth and all the rest snicker down at me, “silly tramp”.