Screen Sneaks

Last weekend, accompanied by an experienced adventurer, I snuck into a movie for the first time. It takes skills folks, but I highly recommend it. Here’s how:

1.  Select a rainy day when you have hours to kill, but don’t bring an umbrella - it creates too much baggage in the case of a mad dash (at which time, pantyhose over the face are ideal)

2.  Choose a viewing companion you really like. You may end up spending the night in jail together.

3.  Abandon all fear, flashy clothes and sunglasses. Looking guilty or drawing attention could be deadly.

4.  Pre-plan. Timing is everything & re-routing may become necessary, so be prepared with a few well scheduled options

5.  Scope out the scene. Know your exits, staff stations and where the washrooms are; your safest refuge

6.  Rehearse your story - if caught, interrogation and torture can be intimidating.  

7.   Pay for and see the good movie first. Your thief show should be dispensable to reduce suspicion.  

8.  Secure an aisle seat & avoid single viewers. They're spies!   

9.  Never abort the mission - you will prevail.

10. (I didn’t, but...) pack snacks and rations - concession prices are more criminal that the sneak!